If You Have to Ask...

Now, I’m a girl. And as such, I tend to overanalyze things with those of the male persuasion. One lesson that I’ve had to learn is that if you’re toiling, wondering, waiting and wishing to know whether or not he’s that into you? He’s just NOT that into you. Actually, I think I realized this upon reading that book.

How much time do we women simply WASTE as we hang on, fret over whether or not we’re ‘good enough’ and overanalyze every nuance of every encounter we’ve had with the object of our affection all in the name of trying to discover whether or not he’s into you. Ladies, this is a waste. Basically, if he IS into you, you won’t be left wondering. He’ll make the effort to see you, talk to you, and generally spend time with you. One thing that men usually do when they’re into a woman is that they will invest their TIME in her.

The hit book and movie, “He’s Just Not That Into You” brought this principle to light. And yet, still there are women all over the world having one sided relationships with men, holding on to any spark of a flicker of a flame in the hope that if she’s just good enough, he’ll like her. All I have to say is you are more than likely TOO GOOD for him. Forget the world, realize your amazingness and focus on what makes you happy. Chances are, pining after a man that is not your equal makes you feel a lot more miserable than happy. Just sayin!

Just as men invest time in the women they’re interested in, women invest emotion. This is why our one sided relationships ache like a “real heartache.” It IS real. But why invest that much emotion into a guy or a non-relationship that will never be? It’s easier said than done. However, as you become aware of it, you are able to recognize the unhealthiness of it all, and ideally stop the unhealthy behavior before it’s too late. And you can get by relatively unscathed. Yes, Love IS a battlefield, but you don’t have to be its casualty.

The Silent Alarm

What is it about a guy; the moment you’ve decided that you give up, that you’ve HAD it and are DONE with him… He calls/texts/facebooks/whatevers you? What IS this phenomenon? I mean, really. Is there some silent dude alarm in the universe? That lets them know that the girl that’s been being strung [out] along is letting go and in order to maintain some type of sick twisted emotional control over them, they must contact said girl? I’ve had this happen to me time after time, as have many of my friends. Anyone have anything to say about this? If per chance any guys are out there, do you SENSE this pulling away?
I’m not gonna lie… Sometimes, I truly believe that when a guy is NOT into you and he KNOWS you ARE into him… And believe me, girls, he knows. I think he likes to keep you around to feed his male ego. He likes the attention, some may like the control they see they have over you. What IS that? Fortunately, with my lack of crushable men around, I haven’t had to deal with this strange phenomenon in about three years. A friend of mine recently experienced it and I felt it was absolutely blog worthy. Anyone else have any experiences/comments about this? Pray, tell!

What is Love?

To me, love means many different things. There are different attributes of love. Attributes that are general and that are applicable to all types of love, i.e. romantic love, familial love, platonic love, etc. There are simple general types of behavior that should make it clear that you love somebody.

So I am going to make a list of some of my ideas of what love means to me. Feel free to comment and let me know some of the things that come to your mind when you think of what it means to love someone.

Selflessness
Kindness
Empathetic
Sacrifice
Trust
Honesty
Compromise
Objectivity
Respect
Giving without expectation of receiving
Receiving with gratitude
Happiness
Endurance
Work

I think that all of these things are necessary in some form in order for two people to have a successful, happy and peaceful relationship. What are some of your thoughts?

Settling ever after

I haven't blogged in eons and need to. So I'll drop a few lines. A couple weeks ago I was watching TV and I was watching the new sitcom that Bob Saget is in - I can't tell you the channel or what it's called, cause I don't know. I looked it up, the show is called Surviving Suburbia. At any rate, I found myself watching it. In this sitcom, the actress that plays Barbara Jean on Reba - that show is HILARIOUS - plays the little girl's teacher. And she plays a character who is unhappy in her marriage (apparently) or perhaps she's recently divorced... and in her unhappy state she tells the little girl, "sometimes you marry the man of your dreams... and sometimes you marry the man who asks."

This just goes to show to me yet again that we live in a society that is so consumed with the idea of being married - regardless of whether or not it's to someone with whom we will have a happy life (notice I don't say perfect).

It seems to me that as women, we have focused so much on proving our worth and strength to a male driven society that we've allowed the men to weaken. We've enabled their laziness and weakness. And continue to validate it.

There has to be a happy medium somewhere. A place where women are respected, honored, cherished and feminine and men are strong, responsible, respectful and masculine. We've come so far away from the chains of gender stereo-types, but we've completely lost the celebration of our differences and how they may complement each other.

I don't know how I got to that point from my original quote of marrying the one that asks... I'm not gonna lie, it's not like anyone is asking. But I feel like I've had long enough to become secure in who I am as an individual and to know that I don't need someone else to "make me happy." I don't have to say yes to "the one that asks," because I'm willing to wait for the dream guy.

HG recipe experiment #1 - Death by Chocolate Cake Cones

Pg 218 of the 200 recipes under 200 calories is this delectable treat. I gave it a whirl for tonight's girls' night and it was a delicious hit. The cake was moist and delicious. And for one cone it's only about 93 calories. What's not to like? Holla if you love you some yummy treats!

A new obsession - HungryGirl

So I'm feeling the need to blog. It's been awhile. I've got ideas... I've underlined parts of Mansfield Park this past read. And I've just not gotten to it. And though I've got those types of ideas, I've decided to write a short blog about Hungry Girl.

Have you heard of her? I saw her most recent book at Sam's Club - 200 recipes under 200 calories. I bought it for one of my BFFs and after I sent it to her I had to get one for myself. I've leafed through it, but haven't tested out any of the recipes yet. Haven't planned well enough for it. But I highly recommend it. She also has a website that you can go to and sign up for her daily newsletter. She's witty and has all sorts of healthy suggestions. So she's a win/win, really :) The friend to whom I sent the book is planning a HungryGirl party with some of her friends and I'm gonna try to coordinate a similar deal with some of my gal pals for a future girls' night! Anyway... check her out. She's rad.

In other news... I got another one. That's right. A clinique bonus. A Free Gift With Purchase (FWP). It's cute. Nordstrom was the scene of the crime. Look how cute it is, though!

Sadly, in OTHER news my cute plants that I planted and wrote about a few entries ago are NOT doing well. The Zinnia flower and the basil had started poking up... but they've fizzled and died and nothing else has popped up. The wildflowers may be taking, though. I'll keep you p0sted if and when they decide to make it. :) Alright, folks, I promise to try to be better. I'm falling off all of my wagons.. the blog wagon, the workout wagon. *sigh* Why is it so hard to develop good habits and so easy to lose them??? Argh, I say, ARGH!

Fanny Price part deux

OK, so I finished Mansfield Park the other day. I've decided that while she was somewhat annoying at first... She was the only one in the story with any true integrity or intuition. It is written in the book that Edmund was the one that helped to mold her mind (he is the token clergyman of this story), but she was naturally inclined to be good and virtuous evenso. Her somewhat oppressive upbringing kept her in humility and when the time was right, she proved her worth was far beyond that of those around her and what one might expect.

Virtue and integrity both seem to be dying attributes of "modern" society. Virtue and integrity do not seem to have much bearing in the progressive movement. Fanny is the epitome of conservative and she was the only one that had good sense. Somehow, I don't find that too surprising.

Fanny has turned out to be the kind of character we should all emulate. She's not as quick-witted as Lizzie, no. But she is kind, patient, long-suffering, loyal and true to herself and her values. That is true character.

I believe I had a recent post that discussed settling in marriage - settling for someone that we know we should not be with, but are so in love with being in love or the idea of being married that we allow ourselves this error. Fanny was faced with this very opportunity, but because she loved another, though at the time she felt it was hopeless, and because she was loyal to her character and the values she held dear, she persevered. We should all learn from her example... we should all hold out for the hero that our Heavenly Father has prepared for us. I'm not saying that there is only one person for every person, but there are definitely some people that the Lord would approve for us and some that he'd prefer we passed over - not because they aren't "good enough" but because they aren't as good FOR us as another may be.