I Can Feel So Unsexy for Someone So Beautiful

The inspiration for this blog comes from my anthem, So Unsexy. Anyone who knows me should know that my ultimate favorite recording artist is Alanis Morissette. She’s a lyrical genius. I’ve watched her evolution these last 12 years through her lyrics. At the same time, I’ve related my own evolution and growth with hers as I enjoy and revel in that which she shares of herself through song.

But back to my anthem: So Unsexy. The chorus begins, “I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful, so unloved for someone so fine…” I think that women especially have this problem. We live in a world that tells us we are never good enough. We live in a world that tells us our imperfections make us unworthy [of love, of success, of happiness]. We have come to believe that our happiness depends on a man, a possession, and/or a size. This is simply not true. Our happiness and success in this life are based largely on our decision to be happy as well as an understanding of who we are. Granted, there are variables that will inevitably affect our degree of happiness – whether for good or not so good.

Alanis continues, "One small sideways look and I feel so ungood," “One forgotten birthday and I'm all but cooked,” “How these little abandonments seem to sting so easily," “One forgotten phone call and I'm deflated,” “Your hand pulling away and I'm devastated..." It's the little things that really matter - the physical proof (because actions speak louder than words), that that person loves, cares about, whatevers you. I know that I often find myself feeling completely rejected, unloved and overall disgusting when a guy I’m somewhat interested in simply doesn’t talk to, call, text me, etc. The idea that no news is good news is certainly not pertinent in girl world. We have grown too accustomed to the idea that we aren’t good enough.

How is this problem solved? Honestly, it’s an everyday uphill battle. The world is screaming at us in one way or another that we have to look a certain way, behave a certain way, have a certain label on our clothing, and by all means a woman without a man is a death sentence to the chill of solitary. We don’t realize that somewhere deep within there’s a small whisper trying to encourage us to reach our divine potential. We all have gifts and talents that we underestimate. Using another Alanis lyric [from Thank U], “how ‘bout remembering your divinity?” I think that a lot of the unhappiness in this world is based on the fact that there are so many out there just trying to figure out who they are. I’m here to tell you that you are a beloved child of Almighty God. Who are you NOT to be great? Our society is allowing the minority (non-believers) to scream at the top of their lungs that there is no God. When really, His goodness not only surrounds us but is within us. As we realize that we have this amazing divine nature and destiny, we begin to believe that we ARE good enough. We DO deserve to be happy. And it’s our duty to help the people around us to feel of God’s love and the happiness that it can bring.

Lastly, to quote the end of “So Unsexy,” “Oh these little rejections how they disappear quickly the moment I decide not to abandon me.” Essentially, these feelings of inadequacy begin to disappear as we remember who we are! As we focus on being our best self and on being less selfish, happiness will cease to be that transparent dangling carrot perpetually before us. Happiness will be ours. Once we are at peace within ourselves, we will be ripe to participate in a healthy, successful relationship and unwilling to settle for less.