So I meant to post this last week... But here it is!
It was four years ago this week that I had gotten all of my belongings packed up and I left Salt Lake City. I miss my life there muchly, but I can see many reasons why I have been where I now am. I’ve had so many opportunities since moving home! I never ever dreamed that Ashtabula, Ohio would hold much for me. I was wrong, however.
When I left SLC, it was with a heavy heart, which led to a broken heart. I had hopes of moving to the east coast to another area high in LDS Singles population, however, that was not my lot at that time. Instead:
- I found a great job
- I’ve been able to serve in my stake and as an ordinance worker at the temple
- I was able to get out of debt
- I was able to purchase a car with a good down payment when I needed to
- I was able to get lasik
- I was able to go on my dream vacation to England and France
- I’m able to spend time with my oldest friends and be here for many of their important life events
- The above also goes for family and family events
- My mind has opened politically, intellectually and spiritually and all three can be combined!
This, and so much more, has been the result of what I never dreamed would be a good thing. I’ve had experiences and opportunities I never expected. There’s still so many more dreams to earn, but I feel like this was an appropriate stop along the way to so much more than I ever considered would be possible. So even though Ashtabula can be quite the social challenge for a single LDS woman, it’s proven to be more than I ever imagined it could be.
09 June 2010
25 April 2010
A lady's imagination...
"A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment." - Mr Darcy in Pride and Prejudice
And this is why Jane Austen transcends time. She understood human nature SO well and characterized so vividly so many of these human idiosyncrasies. P&P was written 200 years ago, and yet I've seen myself fall into this trap that Darcy describes.
It's so easy for women to go from hello to I do in the blink of their mind's eye. I think that it boils down to the fact that we are so in love with the idea of being in love that we hope for it at every corner. The trick is to learn how to rein in this psychotic phenomena. Knowing is half the battle, right ladies?
I think that in my past this rapid succession of a non-relationship has contributed to my perpetual non-relationships. My mind's eye has flashed forward to a happily ever after and I hold on to this fictional story - waiting, wishing, hoping and tormenting myself into yet another broken heart. And yet I must accept most of the responsibility for this broken heart because I had created such a strong attachment to someone that never reciprocated it. I was waiting for the reciprocation, but it never came. And so like Elinor in Sense and Sensibility, I suffer all of the disappointment of a broken attachment without ever having enjoyed the rewards.
I won't lie, though... As much as it sucks to not have much of a "dating pool" where I am now and in the demographic to which I belong, it's usually much more serene than what I'd had before. It's also given me time to solidify my determination to not settle for someone who is a stranger to reciprocity.
And those are my few thoughts for the night... ps, yes, Jane Austen IS indeed my homegirl :)
And this is why Jane Austen transcends time. She understood human nature SO well and characterized so vividly so many of these human idiosyncrasies. P&P was written 200 years ago, and yet I've seen myself fall into this trap that Darcy describes.
It's so easy for women to go from hello to I do in the blink of their mind's eye. I think that it boils down to the fact that we are so in love with the idea of being in love that we hope for it at every corner. The trick is to learn how to rein in this psychotic phenomena. Knowing is half the battle, right ladies?
I think that in my past this rapid succession of a non-relationship has contributed to my perpetual non-relationships. My mind's eye has flashed forward to a happily ever after and I hold on to this fictional story - waiting, wishing, hoping and tormenting myself into yet another broken heart. And yet I must accept most of the responsibility for this broken heart because I had created such a strong attachment to someone that never reciprocated it. I was waiting for the reciprocation, but it never came. And so like Elinor in Sense and Sensibility, I suffer all of the disappointment of a broken attachment without ever having enjoyed the rewards.
I won't lie, though... As much as it sucks to not have much of a "dating pool" where I am now and in the demographic to which I belong, it's usually much more serene than what I'd had before. It's also given me time to solidify my determination to not settle for someone who is a stranger to reciprocity.
And those are my few thoughts for the night... ps, yes, Jane Austen IS indeed my homegirl :)
Mr Clutter update
Well this weekend i've been quarantined due to pink eye. so i straightened up the clutter of my vanity a wee bit. it's so much better. but. i have a LOT of stuff. If you need any clinique lipstick, let me know. I can hook you up. :) And ps, remember the whole free gift with purchase post awhile back? the post with the multitude of pics of makeup bags? yeah. It's April. I've gotten 3 Clinique bonuses this year so far... Is it a sickness? It just might be. pps, pink eye sucks. but crises endured. my eyes are almost normal again! yay for antibiotics!
15 April 2010
Please, Mr. Clutter!
I sang that to the tune of “Please Mr. Custer, I don’t wanna go!” hahah. I’m a freak like that. I will avoid the ceremonious pointing out of the horror of my lack of bloggage and just get on with it ;)
Lately I’ve been feeling really blah. Part of it is that I’ve been practically living in my car and doing so many things away from home that when I AM home, I don’t want to do anything that needs to be done. I’m cluttered. I need to DEclutter so badly. My car, my room, my life, etc. But where does one start?
And then I have begun to wonder: Would I even be READY to be married in the state in which I live? Seriously… SHARE a room with someone? Closet and storage space?! It’s not that I wouldn’t WANT to, mind you, the question is: would I be able to effectively transition to said sharing? Looking around my pitiful and bulging room, it would appear to me that an overhaul is in order. But again, I ask, where does one start? I’ve got storage bins and organizers aplenty… I’ve got who’s its and what’s it galore! You want lots of makeup bags? I got close to 40. Seriously. *sigh*
I think my life needs some new direction, some change, some pull me out of this ruttedness. Is it because Spring is beginning? New life, change and back on the path to a fullness that we call summer? I’m supposed to be in the summer of my life, not the drudgy depths of winter! Don’t get me wrong, I’m not emotionally depressed. Just… stuck right now, I guess. A yearning for whatever it is that’s around the corner… or whizzing down the river… come on deliver to me!!!! This is a random lyric-filled post, too! How many songs can YOU name that I’ve already quoted?! Challenge extended!
OK, ok… any thoughts on decluttering and organizing? Tips and advice and things? It’s getting late, and this post is brought to you by the letters Z and z… Honestly, I’ll try and be better and write more. Just promise me that you’ll comment me and validate me.
Lately I’ve been feeling really blah. Part of it is that I’ve been practically living in my car and doing so many things away from home that when I AM home, I don’t want to do anything that needs to be done. I’m cluttered. I need to DEclutter so badly. My car, my room, my life, etc. But where does one start?
And then I have begun to wonder: Would I even be READY to be married in the state in which I live? Seriously… SHARE a room with someone? Closet and storage space?! It’s not that I wouldn’t WANT to, mind you, the question is: would I be able to effectively transition to said sharing? Looking around my pitiful and bulging room, it would appear to me that an overhaul is in order. But again, I ask, where does one start? I’ve got storage bins and organizers aplenty… I’ve got who’s its and what’s it galore! You want lots of makeup bags? I got close to 40. Seriously. *sigh*
I think my life needs some new direction, some change, some pull me out of this ruttedness. Is it because Spring is beginning? New life, change and back on the path to a fullness that we call summer? I’m supposed to be in the summer of my life, not the drudgy depths of winter! Don’t get me wrong, I’m not emotionally depressed. Just… stuck right now, I guess. A yearning for whatever it is that’s around the corner… or whizzing down the river… come on deliver to me!!!! This is a random lyric-filled post, too! How many songs can YOU name that I’ve already quoted?! Challenge extended!
OK, ok… any thoughts on decluttering and organizing? Tips and advice and things? It’s getting late, and this post is brought to you by the letters Z and z… Honestly, I’ll try and be better and write more. Just promise me that you’ll comment me and validate me.
Does this mess of a vanity portray my OWN vanity? Sure hope not!!!! Oye!!!
08 March 2010
Come What May
I have not blogged for eternity. Am I really THAT boring? Apparently, I guess I am. One of my gal pals once again saves the day with an idea that I think I can write about. Now, many moons ago, I wrote about the girls that walk in the light, see the post here!
Now, again, I am not one of these girls that walk in the light, thus I don’t particularly have a lot of dating experience, per se. Some may say I’m the Queen of the Unrequited, or the non-girlfriend aka, always the buddy but never the boo. So, the thought then comes down to this: when you are one of the girls that doesn’t date very much, how do you not overthink things when you DO go on a date, or find someone for whom perhaps you could develop an interest?
For example, say you aren’t asked out very often… When it DOES happen, it’s such a novelty, so you put all kinds of pressure on yourself and the situation. Or even if you aren’t presented with many people in whom you can BE interested… When you meet someone new for whom you could potentially develop an interest, how do you not get carried away, thus creating all kinds of pressure and unrealistic expectations?
I guess when all is said and done, it’s just important to focus on the fact that what will happen, will happen… And as we try to keep ourselves realistically grounded, we have a better chance at not creating a non-existent relationship that may lead to an uncalled for heartbreak (all in 15 minutes)!
Of course that’s usually easier said than done isn’t it? It seems to me that anticipation, for some reason, is a hurdle for humans. When we approach any type of change or potential change in life, we tend to get all worked up, anxious or put out simply from the anticipation of an event/circumstance, and the anticipation is often worse than the actual occurrence! The only solution I can come up with, is that in order to best endure these situations in life, we must focus on being solid in our principles, having faith in ourselves and our God, knowing that He will guide and direct us as we are willing to heed Him. I think that when we are happy where we’re at in our life, we can always weather whatever might come our way. It’s when we are placing our happiness/contentment on the next phase or experience that we end up lost, unhappy and filled with regret. Carpe Diem, people! Seize the day, YOUR day, be happy where you are, and with who you are, and come what may, you’ll be ready for it and you’ll be happy to greet it!
Now, again, I am not one of these girls that walk in the light, thus I don’t particularly have a lot of dating experience, per se. Some may say I’m the Queen of the Unrequited, or the non-girlfriend aka, always the buddy but never the boo. So, the thought then comes down to this: when you are one of the girls that doesn’t date very much, how do you not overthink things when you DO go on a date, or find someone for whom perhaps you could develop an interest?
For example, say you aren’t asked out very often… When it DOES happen, it’s such a novelty, so you put all kinds of pressure on yourself and the situation. Or even if you aren’t presented with many people in whom you can BE interested… When you meet someone new for whom you could potentially develop an interest, how do you not get carried away, thus creating all kinds of pressure and unrealistic expectations?
I guess when all is said and done, it’s just important to focus on the fact that what will happen, will happen… And as we try to keep ourselves realistically grounded, we have a better chance at not creating a non-existent relationship that may lead to an uncalled for heartbreak (all in 15 minutes)!
Of course that’s usually easier said than done isn’t it? It seems to me that anticipation, for some reason, is a hurdle for humans. When we approach any type of change or potential change in life, we tend to get all worked up, anxious or put out simply from the anticipation of an event/circumstance, and the anticipation is often worse than the actual occurrence! The only solution I can come up with, is that in order to best endure these situations in life, we must focus on being solid in our principles, having faith in ourselves and our God, knowing that He will guide and direct us as we are willing to heed Him. I think that when we are happy where we’re at in our life, we can always weather whatever might come our way. It’s when we are placing our happiness/contentment on the next phase or experience that we end up lost, unhappy and filled with regret. Carpe Diem, people! Seize the day, YOUR day, be happy where you are, and with who you are, and come what may, you’ll be ready for it and you’ll be happy to greet it!
05 February 2010
While I'm at it...
Hopefully the comment moderation will come in handy... should i change it to the setting that only registered users can leave comments? thoughts? discuss. Now, moving along... I think I owe you all a proper blog entry with all this hullabaloo.
And who best to turn to, but Jane Austen? By now you all know of my obsession with all things Jane. While at Barnes and Noble recently, I had wandered into the Valentine's Day section and was somehow drawn to: The Jane Austen Companion to Love. Shocking, yes, I know. It is yet another compilation of some of her quotes - both from books and letters she'd written. So, to this book I turn.
"Nothing can compare to the misery of being bound without Love, bound to one, & preferring another. That is a Punishment which you do not deserve." - from a letter to her niece, Fanny Knight.
This is what I am so often talking about. Even in today's society we see that people settle on the one who asks rather than waiting for the one which is actually worth waiting! There are, I'm sure, plenty of reasons for marrying someone for whom you have mediocre feelings... Most of which are probably centered on a lack of self-worth. But really, who are you not to be beautiful and amazing? As long as we are being our best and striving to ever improve and be the happy, confident individuals our Heavenly Father created us to be, we have every reason to expect felicity in life - with or without marriage, I daresay :)
And who best to turn to, but Jane Austen? By now you all know of my obsession with all things Jane. While at Barnes and Noble recently, I had wandered into the Valentine's Day section and was somehow drawn to: The Jane Austen Companion to Love. Shocking, yes, I know. It is yet another compilation of some of her quotes - both from books and letters she'd written. So, to this book I turn.
"Nothing can compare to the misery of being bound without Love, bound to one, & preferring another. That is a Punishment which you do not deserve." - from a letter to her niece, Fanny Knight.
This is what I am so often talking about. Even in today's society we see that people settle on the one who asks rather than waiting for the one which is actually worth waiting! There are, I'm sure, plenty of reasons for marrying someone for whom you have mediocre feelings... Most of which are probably centered on a lack of self-worth. But really, who are you not to be beautiful and amazing? As long as we are being our best and striving to ever improve and be the happy, confident individuals our Heavenly Father created us to be, we have every reason to expect felicity in life - with or without marriage, I daresay :)
Comment po-po
OK, after reading through the comments from those of my beloveds that would like to stay in my loop, I have decided to give the comment police deal a whirly gig... and see how that goes before I go all out and set this bad mammer jammer to private...
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