I have mentioned before that as a member of the LDS Church, I am very lucky to have resources to allow me to socialize with other single adults of my faith. Evenso, at times these activities and opportunities become somewhat wearisome... As my previous entry indicates, the ratio of men to women is so not in the favor of women. This is a part of it. I honestly have begun feeling lately that I don't really get much out of the social opportunities that I have. I am grateful for them nonetheless, of course. However, I am currently in a transitional stage.
The way these "programs" are set up is in such a way that the Young Single Adults are 18-30 and are generally college age adults. Well, then everyone else that is single is lumped into the Single Adults. 31-infinity. With the trends of today, that makes it quite a varied group. Not only age but situation (never married, divorced, widowed, etc). I have been poaching in the Young Single Adults group for the last year. I haven't had any obections, of course as I've been one of the main people that has planned and executed many of the activities.
Socially speaking, unfortunately, I don't really feel like I've been getting much from these activities. There are a variety of reasons... I guess for the most part... when I'm driving the hour or so home from the activity... I don't feel fulfilled, uplifted, happy.. or anything along those lines. So as I said, I don't feel like I get all that much from the activities.
Now, there is a potential for a Mid-Single Adult group... It's being looked into to determine whether there's an actual need for it, per se.
I've historically been kinda freaked out about guys older than me... At least in recent years. I believe I've written before that the age of guy that I have tended to be interested in hasn't changed much in the last ten years... They used to be older than me, but now... not so much :) Anyway... So I've been hanging on to the YSA group fearing the unknown.. Fearing being stuck socializing with a bunch of retirees. Not that there isn't a time and place for that... But that's not exactly what I'm looking for socially.
So my friend and I were discussing these ideas earlier today. Firstly, do I really believe that I'm gonna meet someone (aka "the one") at Church? or at a Church activity? Some argue that you're more likely to meet someone through a common acquaintance. These are all possibilities. Let's not kid ourselves.
In pondering this... I came to a conclusion. I have no idea where I'll meet someone. But I surely won't be meeting anyone if I'm sitting at home avoiding life and all it has to offer. Sometimes we have to endure the mundane things in order to prove ourselves. I compared it to an aspect of missionary life. As a full-time LDS missionary, there are a variety of ways to find people to teach the gospel to. We all know that tracting is one of the least effective ways. Knocking door to door and finding someone that is interested is a rarity. It's not impossible, of course. Just rare. But as missionaries, we did it. We would knock doors when we had no other teaching appointments or member families to ask for referrals. Even though we KNEW that it was less effective, we were still putting forth the effort because it was the Lord's time and His work. And when we were obedient and doing everything we knew how to do... We would inevitably be blessed. We might not find someone at the home of a door we knocked... But maybe a member family had a friend that was now ready to be taught. We used the Lord's time wisely and He blessed us for it.
I determined that our life as single adults is much like that. Though instead of finding someone to share the gospel with, we're wanting to find someone to share our eternity with. Instead of knocking on doors, we attend single adult activities that might not be the most exciting or fulfilling of activities for us... But we do these things with the hope that we are proving to the Lord that we are willing to do what it takes to be led to a person that has been prepared for us. It's not easy... It won't always be bunnies and flowers happy... But in the end it will be worth it. The Lord really does have a timeline for each of us. It's the only thing that makes sense to me. It's just difficult for us to appreciate because we don't have the perfect eternal perspective that God has. He knows so much better than we do what's best for us. We have to choose to believe that. And as we strive to make choices that align with Heavenly Father's will, well then... That is when we find our peace.
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4 comments:
I feel your pain. I go through a period where I start to avoid the YSA activities b/c I have other things I would much rather do and sometimes they are just not that fun. This last one I gained more out of it, because I branched out and met some new people. Maybe we can invite some older SA (under 35) to some of our activities. Maybe that will help?
HI ...Don't let age stop you. I married a divorced/single dad who is 10 years older than me...it has been a GREAT 7 years!
I like this one. Very hopeful! And I can definitely relate to what you're saying. :)
Hey DIVA,
What have you been you been doing? It has been a long time!
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