So I’ve been thinking lately about myself and the way I am with regard to members of the opposite sex. For some reason, I can be all Flirty McFlirtFlirt with guys I’m NOT all that into - probably because it’s safe. However, with guys that I am potentially interested in getting to know, I tend to shy up a bit. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got biting wit and good humour 24/7 no matter what. But I guess I’m not overly… expressive in my potential interest. I’ve never been the aggressive type to throw myself at a guy. At least I don’t think so… Correct me if I’m wrong.
I’ve also learned that my passive aggressive ways have been successful in the past in communicating my feelings… And when the guy doesn’t seem to be getting the clue, it’s because he’s just not that into me, but enjoys or appreciates my friendship. That’s never an enjoyable realization to come to. I’ve tried over the years to have a more expanded outlook on these scenarios. Clearly these relationships were not meant to be, I wouldn’t want to have to “force” or convince someone to love me anyway.
Call me old-fashioned, but I like the idea of the guy pursuing the girl! In a ward that I was in in Utah, the girls were counseled to make it known that they were available to the guy and then drop the ball. It’s in a man’s nature to want to hunt his prey, right? So they say. I guess I just figure that in the cases of successful relationships, even when a guy is shy, if he really wants to, he will make the move on the girl. I’ve seen it happen and that’s what I’m banking on…
21 May 2008
It's Good to Be in Love
Don't you worry... I'm not in love. Don't let the title deceive you. The title is in fact a song. Shocking for me, I know. But I heart music and sometimes I can really just relate to it. I was introduced to Frou Frou a couple of years ago, but I just barely obtained the full album, Details. I must say the song, It's Good to Be in Love, really kinda related to some of my past experience(s). So for your entertainment, take a look at these lyrics and if you're lucky, maybe you can find the song somewhere to listen to it. If you're see me, it's on my Zune and I can hook you up :) I don't know... it just reminds me of all the one-sided love affairs I've had in my life and though I'm not currently "black and blue all over," it just really kinda spoke to me. Also, I'm trying to be better about getting blogs posted, so.. Grab it and growl, kids :)
"It's Good To Be In Love"
I don't know where to start
Say I'm tired or throw a party
These cucumber eyes are lying the more that i smile about it
And all of my clothes feel like somebody's old throwaways
I don't like it
It's good to be in love
It really does suit you
Just like everything
I'm happy you're in love
'Cause every color goes where you do
I'm adoring you
It's all good
You're so beautiful
I'm black and blue all over
You're breaking my flow
How could you know what I'm saying about it
When all of my clothes feel like somebody's old throwaways
I don't like it
It's good to be in love
It really does suit you
Just like everything
I'm happy you're in love
'Cause every color goes where you do
I feel so powerless
I've got to stop it somehow
Oh come on what can i do?
Why's it happening
How's it happening without me
Why's it happening
How's it happening that he feels it without me
It's good to be in love
It really does suit you
Just like everythingI'm happy you're in love
'Cause every color goes where you do
"It's Good To Be In Love"
I don't know where to start
Say I'm tired or throw a party
These cucumber eyes are lying the more that i smile about it
And all of my clothes feel like somebody's old throwaways
I don't like it
It's good to be in love
It really does suit you
Just like everything
I'm happy you're in love
'Cause every color goes where you do
I'm adoring you
It's all good
You're so beautiful
I'm black and blue all over
You're breaking my flow
How could you know what I'm saying about it
When all of my clothes feel like somebody's old throwaways
I don't like it
It's good to be in love
It really does suit you
Just like everything
I'm happy you're in love
'Cause every color goes where you do
I feel so powerless
I've got to stop it somehow
Oh come on what can i do?
Why's it happening
How's it happening without me
Why's it happening
How's it happening that he feels it without me
It's good to be in love
It really does suit you
Just like everythingI'm happy you're in love
'Cause every color goes where you do
07 May 2008
Our Name Is Our Virtue
To quote the new hit Jason Mraz song, “I’m Yours,” ‘I guess what I be sayin is that there ain’t no better reason to rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons, it’s what we aim to do, our name is our virtue.’ I think that we often pretend to be something that we’re not when we begin a relationship - or attempt to begin a new relationship. We just need to be ourselves. Be natural.
I think most of us, for unknown reasons, have forgotten that perhaps we should approach relationships with honesty - not only with the other person, but honesty with ourselves. We try to convince ourselves that things are gonna get better, when the bottom line is that we don't really WANT them to. I know a girl that started dating a guy about a month ago. Even though after the first date (he brought his parents) she wasn’t really interested in pursuing things with him. She has since decided to continue to date him. Their relationship seems to have progressed quickly in the physical sense (though apparently it’s average in worldly relationships). She is just now finding more and more quirks that he has. Granted, everyone has quirks and most shouldn’t be “deal breakers.” Though from what she’s been telling me, he’s got some major OCD tendencies. And he’s trying to impose his OCD tendencies on her. Of course she’s not willing to adopt these crazy, inconvenient tendencies. Countless times she’s said “I dunno… I don’t think I can deal with this long-term,” or something like unto it. In her case, she's got kids to think about, too. How will keeping this guy around affect not only her, but her children? All these complaints and yet not willing to stop the insanity!
So what is it about people that get into relationships and they KNOW they absolutely know in their gut that this person isn’t the one that they will want to spend the rest of their life/existence with… and yet they keep hanging on hoping that something will change. It’s like they’re more in love with the idea of a relationship than the actual person with whom they’re relationshipping. Again, I must quote Alanis, “why why do I try to change you try to change you when you really don’t want me to?” It just never works when we try to change someone. If someone chooses to change on their own, for their own purposes that’s one thing… But it pretty much never really works when we try to mold someone into something they’re not - simply to appease our ideas of what we want. It’s selfish and less effective.
Yet again, we’re not being honest with ourselves and certainly not with the other person. How ‘bout we stop wasting time with the wrong person and focus on finding the right one? We wonder why so many of us can’t find happiness, can’t find a successful relationship, etc. It’s simply because… well, to quote Anne Shirley in the final scene of Anne of Avonlea, “It’s just I went searching for my ideals outside of myself. I discovered it’s not what the world holds for you… It’s what you bring to it.” It’s time we learn who we are and what we can bring to the relationship table. Once we do, we will be prepared for our own perfect relationship with all its flaws. :)
I think most of us, for unknown reasons, have forgotten that perhaps we should approach relationships with honesty - not only with the other person, but honesty with ourselves. We try to convince ourselves that things are gonna get better, when the bottom line is that we don't really WANT them to. I know a girl that started dating a guy about a month ago. Even though after the first date (he brought his parents) she wasn’t really interested in pursuing things with him. She has since decided to continue to date him. Their relationship seems to have progressed quickly in the physical sense (though apparently it’s average in worldly relationships). She is just now finding more and more quirks that he has. Granted, everyone has quirks and most shouldn’t be “deal breakers.” Though from what she’s been telling me, he’s got some major OCD tendencies. And he’s trying to impose his OCD tendencies on her. Of course she’s not willing to adopt these crazy, inconvenient tendencies. Countless times she’s said “I dunno… I don’t think I can deal with this long-term,” or something like unto it. In her case, she's got kids to think about, too. How will keeping this guy around affect not only her, but her children? All these complaints and yet not willing to stop the insanity!
So what is it about people that get into relationships and they KNOW they absolutely know in their gut that this person isn’t the one that they will want to spend the rest of their life/existence with… and yet they keep hanging on hoping that something will change. It’s like they’re more in love with the idea of a relationship than the actual person with whom they’re relationshipping. Again, I must quote Alanis, “why why do I try to change you try to change you when you really don’t want me to?” It just never works when we try to change someone. If someone chooses to change on their own, for their own purposes that’s one thing… But it pretty much never really works when we try to mold someone into something they’re not - simply to appease our ideas of what we want. It’s selfish and less effective.
Yet again, we’re not being honest with ourselves and certainly not with the other person. How ‘bout we stop wasting time with the wrong person and focus on finding the right one? We wonder why so many of us can’t find happiness, can’t find a successful relationship, etc. It’s simply because… well, to quote Anne Shirley in the final scene of Anne of Avonlea, “It’s just I went searching for my ideals outside of myself. I discovered it’s not what the world holds for you… It’s what you bring to it.” It’s time we learn who we are and what we can bring to the relationship table. Once we do, we will be prepared for our own perfect relationship with all its flaws. :)
06 May 2008
Waiting
I was reminded today about how horrible I am at updating my blog. So to be assuaging, I asked for topical ideas and here I am. Unfortunately, the topics that were suggested haven’t really… inspired me much. So I guess, per usual, I should just start writing and see where I go.
I am still having a lack of love interest these days. I don’t know about anyone else out there, but having reached and passed the age of 30 (officially 31, but I prefer to refer to it as 20-11), I feel the tick tock of the biological clock. I have friends that are on their 4th child or more… I have friends that are almost a decade younger than me not only being married but having their first child, too. It’s taxing sometimes – only because I’m still waiting. I guess my question is, how long should one continue “waiting?”
Don’t get me wrong, I am by no means implying (nor should you infer) that I am ready to just shack up with any guy that’ll have me. That’s just not the way I roll, and certainly is not an option. I haven’t waited this long for Mr. Right to throw all my hopes and dreams away on Mr. Wrong, Mr. Not-So-Much, or Mr. No Thank You. I still have my standards, and although I would LOOOVE a Mr. Darcy or John Thornton, I know that those men are fictitious and likely don’t exist. Nevertheless, I do still have high expectations for the man with whom I will share my eternity.
I guess what I am getting at is that I sometimes feel like giving up. I want to believe that there really isn’t someone out there. I get sick of this sitting, wishing and waiting. People often say it happens when you’re not looking [for it]. Well, that sucks to be me because I’ve been looking for it for longer than I can recollect. I have journal entries from when I was in elementary school talking about wanting to get married and have children. However, for some unknown and likely divine reason, I have this undying hope underneath it all. I hope that he really is out there. He really is searching for me as I am for him. He’s the yin to my yang, the micro to my chip. I mean, COME ON! Right?
I suppose the only thing to be done is to continue in patience and long-suffering. I’ve had my share of disappointments, dashed hopes and unrealized dreams. Though in the long run, all of those things will have contributed to the greatness that will be. And so in the meantime, I will have to try to instill what Alanis says in the bridge of 21 Things, “I’m in no hurry… I could wait forever, I’m in no rush cause I like being solo. There are no worries and certainly no pressure, in the meantime I’ll live like there’s no tomorrow…”
I am still having a lack of love interest these days. I don’t know about anyone else out there, but having reached and passed the age of 30 (officially 31, but I prefer to refer to it as 20-11), I feel the tick tock of the biological clock. I have friends that are on their 4th child or more… I have friends that are almost a decade younger than me not only being married but having their first child, too. It’s taxing sometimes – only because I’m still waiting. I guess my question is, how long should one continue “waiting?”
Don’t get me wrong, I am by no means implying (nor should you infer) that I am ready to just shack up with any guy that’ll have me. That’s just not the way I roll, and certainly is not an option. I haven’t waited this long for Mr. Right to throw all my hopes and dreams away on Mr. Wrong, Mr. Not-So-Much, or Mr. No Thank You. I still have my standards, and although I would LOOOVE a Mr. Darcy or John Thornton, I know that those men are fictitious and likely don’t exist. Nevertheless, I do still have high expectations for the man with whom I will share my eternity.
I guess what I am getting at is that I sometimes feel like giving up. I want to believe that there really isn’t someone out there. I get sick of this sitting, wishing and waiting. People often say it happens when you’re not looking [for it]. Well, that sucks to be me because I’ve been looking for it for longer than I can recollect. I have journal entries from when I was in elementary school talking about wanting to get married and have children. However, for some unknown and likely divine reason, I have this undying hope underneath it all. I hope that he really is out there. He really is searching for me as I am for him. He’s the yin to my yang, the micro to my chip. I mean, COME ON! Right?
I suppose the only thing to be done is to continue in patience and long-suffering. I’ve had my share of disappointments, dashed hopes and unrealized dreams. Though in the long run, all of those things will have contributed to the greatness that will be. And so in the meantime, I will have to try to instill what Alanis says in the bridge of 21 Things, “I’m in no hurry… I could wait forever, I’m in no rush cause I like being solo. There are no worries and certainly no pressure, in the meantime I’ll live like there’s no tomorrow…”
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