Waiting

I was reminded today about how horrible I am at updating my blog. So to be assuaging, I asked for topical ideas and here I am. Unfortunately, the topics that were suggested haven’t really… inspired me much. So I guess, per usual, I should just start writing and see where I go.

I am still having a lack of love interest these days. I don’t know about anyone else out there, but having reached and passed the age of 30 (officially 31, but I prefer to refer to it as 20-11), I feel the tick tock of the biological clock. I have friends that are on their 4th child or more… I have friends that are almost a decade younger than me not only being married but having their first child, too. It’s taxing sometimes – only because I’m still waiting. I guess my question is, how long should one continue “waiting?”

Don’t get me wrong, I am by no means implying (nor should you infer) that I am ready to just shack up with any guy that’ll have me. That’s just not the way I roll, and certainly is not an option. I haven’t waited this long for Mr. Right to throw all my hopes and dreams away on Mr. Wrong, Mr. Not-So-Much, or Mr. No Thank You. I still have my standards, and although I would LOOOVE a Mr. Darcy or John Thornton, I know that those men are fictitious and likely don’t exist. Nevertheless, I do still have high expectations for the man with whom I will share my eternity.

I guess what I am getting at is that I sometimes feel like giving up. I want to believe that there really isn’t someone out there. I get sick of this sitting, wishing and waiting. People often say it happens when you’re not looking [for it]. Well, that sucks to be me because I’ve been looking for it for longer than I can recollect. I have journal entries from when I was in elementary school talking about wanting to get married and have children. However, for some unknown and likely divine reason, I have this undying hope underneath it all. I hope that he really is out there. He really is searching for me as I am for him. He’s the yin to my yang, the micro to my chip. I mean, COME ON! Right?

I suppose the only thing to be done is to continue in patience and long-suffering. I’ve had my share of disappointments, dashed hopes and unrealized dreams. Though in the long run, all of those things will have contributed to the greatness that will be. And so in the meantime, I will have to try to instill what Alanis says in the bridge of 21 Things, “I’m in no hurry… I could wait forever, I’m in no rush cause I like being solo. There are no worries and certainly no pressure, in the meantime I’ll live like there’s no tomorrow…”