Retirees, Florida and Me

Hello all! All 4 of you that will probably ever read this ;) I just got back from Florida this week. I spent almost a week there. Good times! I was there for my aunt’s wedding! Weddings galore in my family this year, apparently. Except for mine, of course. And just when I thought maybe good things happen in threes… My brother steals my thunder and announces his recent engagement! Craziness, right?

At any rate. We had a relaxing trip to the Orlando area of Florida. Spent some time at downtown Disney and City Walk at Universal. I was vacationing with retired and almost retired family members, so the pace was nice and slow. Got to see some sights and relax. Wish the weather would’ve been better so I could’ve returned with a tan, but alas, I’m still pale!

So one of the exciting things that happened involves a little lizard. Two to be precise. OK, anyone that knows me knows that I am not a fan of critters. And so when I sat down on my bed at the motel, and looked down to see a LIZARD on my LEG, I kinda freaked out (to say the least). Be rest assured there was screaming, jumping and general freak-out behaviour in abundance. So for some reason my mother refused to believe and kept questioning me if I was “sure” it was a lizard. I’m thinking, I looked that little cold blooded thing practically in it’s little beadie eyes! YES! It was a LIZARD! ACK! Anyway. So the lizard went MIA. And we were on high alert. This terror alert was definitely above orange. So a little while later we noticed aforementioned lizard on my MOM’S BED. He’s blending in with the comforter – can you see him??

Anyway, like the girly girl that I can be, I locked myself in the bathroom hoping my mom could catch and release the thing. She had a Dixie cup. Unfortunately, he wasn’t cooperative. He jumped around. Well, he jumped on the floor, and in order to preserve a good night’s rest for us, my mom threw a paper on him and then… well, she stomped on him. He wasn’t squished, that’s gross. I like to think she scared him to death. So then she wrapped him up and disposed of him. Tragic, I know.

Well that’s not the END of our lizard torment! Oh, no. So a couple of days later, I wake up to my mom in the corner of our room spraying her hairspray. I asked her what in heck she was doing, to which she sheepishly replied, “spraying hairspray on the lizard over here…” I was like WHAT?!?!? Another one? Apparently she’d spotted him the day before on the curtain rod of our sliding glass door. She played it cool, not wanting to freak me out again. However (comma), he’d made his move to the floor. He was entering OUR turf. So apparently my uncle had suggested she spray her hairspray on it. She took it to new levels – also sprayed spray gel and some other hair product on our little intruder. Well, he didn’t even flinch (unlike me – I was constantly flinching all night freaking out feeling like there was a lizard stalking me). He didn’t move one inch all day.. and his color was starting to fade. When we returned that night, he was still in the same exact space. So either he was really good at playing statue, or he was hairsprayed to death. So one of my aunts was apparently the tomboy of the three girls growing up and has no qualms about critters. She came in that night picked him and said he was stiff as a bored. He was confirmed dead. Yep. So she disposed of him for us. CRISES ENDURED!

Other than all that, the wedding was great and the time spent with family was priceless. Now I’m back to Ohio and the delightful chilliness it brings, living lizard free.