Style? Really?

OK, I know I don't get to blogging very much these days, and for some reason, I really am feeling to post something. I got sidetracked on the best and worst dressed slideshows from the MTV movie awards last night. And I mean, really? REALLY? Here are some of the conundrums...

Now, I love me some Hermione Granger, don't get me wrong, but Emma... Oh, Emma, really? You're only missing your surfboard accessory. I KNOW the MTV awards are nothing compared to like the Oscars, but you might wanna consider a little more class and a little less surf n' turf. I just can't figure out how something like THIS ended up on the BEST dressed list when Kristen Stewart's monstrosity was on the WORST dressed list. I think they're BOTH bad, check out Kristen and see - what do you think?

see what I mean? Now, granted, I didn't watch the show and I'm just looking through these slides, but I didn't even know who most of these "starlets" were, and believe me, the vast majority were rightfully on the WORST dressed list. Now, look at this next one... What list do you think she was on?

This is Louise Roe, whomever that is. THIS was on the WORST dressed list because it's "ill-fitting." I think it's waaaay classier than the other crap that was there! The color is great on her, and it looks COMFY, and I think it's waaaaaaay better than this next diddy that WAS on the BEST list.

Enter Shailene Woodley. Who is she anyway? But really? This is SO BURNT! i.e. UG-LAY. I may have a conservative eye when it comes to fashion, but at least if *I* were a stylist, the people I dressed wouldn't look like ridiculosity.

*sigh*

Lost Love Songs

Has anyone else noticed that there seem to be a LOT more songs these days about lost loves? Here is a list of some of my recent and not so recent favorites: The One That Got Away - Katy Perry; Not Over You - Gavin Degraw; Hear Me Out - Frou Frou; Lips of an Angel - Hinder; The Harold Song - Ke$ha; Simple Together - Alanis Morissette. I'm sure my list could go on and on - what are some of your favorite Lost Love Songs?

Hello out there!

Just trying to make some noise through the crickets which have been around this neck of the blogosphere. I guess I simply haven't felt all too inspired for writing regularly. But I suppose it is quite over due!

I have had a few ideas for posts that would fit into the category of the premise of the blog itself - related to relationships (the lack thereof) and what not. I should also fill in a tidge on my current goings-on. I have just had a birthday - quite a monumental one, I guess. I've decided it's no longer fun to say that I'm halfway to such and such a number :) Halfway to 70 just doesn't quite have the same ring as halfway to 40, for example.

In any case, although I may be a 30-something I seem to be living the life of a 20-something, being a full-time college student and all. We are nearing the end of the semester, and so I'm sure that things will soon be getting quite crazy with end of the semester projects and final exams. It has been great, though! I've thoroughly enjoyed my field experience class - getting to spend time in the classroom with students and learning more about being an educator. I definitely loooove the 5th grade classroom I've been able to experience. I've favored that grade level previously, and when the kids in the class guessed my age at 20 or 21, I think it kind of made me even more in favor of fifth graders (lol).

The fall semester will find me in Advanced Study and therefore even more field hours. The plan, of course, is that KSU will place us in a variety of age groups and schools and situations to prepare us. So it will be interesting if nothing else!

One of the classes I've been taking this semester is Education Psychology. We were recently learning about learned helplessness, that is an expectation of failure due to past experience with failure. As I was driving to class one morning contemplating this, the thought occurred to me that I think I suffer from learned datelessness. I must say, I cracked myself up :) But seriously, in the past 6 or so years I have hardly even met anyone that I would even consider dating, and so... I've learned datelessness. C'est la vie, right?

I will be busy this summer with school as my goal is to be student teaching/graduating by preferably fall 2013, but spring '14 at the latest. And lo and behold, I have been asked to be a leader at Girls' Camp this year. You read that right. Me. Camping. So, that will be entertaining, to be sure. And if any of you have any tips or advice on being able to combat the extreme love that mosquitos seem to have for my blood, please, share. I will try to update a bit more frequently... until then, to quote one of my new favorite songs (Brokenhearted) by the new group Karmin; uh, cheerio!

Leaping with Faith

I know, I know. I have not had time to blog much this year. It happens, right? My life has been SO overbooked this year (that is a whole blog post idea on its own - overbooking ourselves), and something has been needing to change. As most of you know, last year at this time, I announced that I was going back to school. For the past year, I've been working full-time (with a variety of commute times), I began my Pampered Chef business in November 2010 (message me/comment me if you're interested in learning more about the products or business!), and I've been attending school part-time. This was all in addition, of course to various church responsibilities as well as a desire to have some sort of social life (or something resembling one). There were times this past year when I felt like I was barely treading water. I realized that unless something changed, my academic goals were going to be a sort of "someday" hoped for goal, something that might easily fall by the wayside unless something seriously changed. Well. That something is changing. With one of the most ginormous leaps of faith of my life thus far, I have given my notice at my full-time job and in exchange I am becoming a full-time student.
*scream*
Right?! I'm excited and nervous all at the same time. I truly feel like this is the right thing for my life at this time - I've been pondering and praying about it for months upon months, and now it's actually happening. My prayer NOW is that I am able to continue on this path, accomplish my goals and still be able to provide myself with the necessities of life. There is a lot of dark space in front of me yet, but I know that I've been trying to follow the path that God has prepared for me, and as I continue to seek His guidance I will be able to navigate my way through the unknown path ahead of me!

Single Lane Traffic Next Five Miles

I've been living back at home now for five years. Close to the time when I moved home and began my commuter life, construction began on the freeway. It began with a bridge. The landscaping around the bridge was moved around and resculpted to allow for an expanded bridge. That job took quite a long time and then they began to expand the freeway itself - and several years later I'm still driving through construction every day.

The other week, I noticed a sign as I was driving on the opposite side of the freeway; surrounded by cement barriers to protect me as I drove on the wrong side of the road, the sign read: Single Lane Traffic Next Five Miles.

I kind of laughed to myself as I made the correlation between this construction zone and my single life - the only difference was that this sign was keeping me updated on how much longer I could expect to be in a single lane. At that moment, I kind of wished that there was some way that the Lord could just give me a little sign to let me know how much longer my life's road would be traveled "alone".

Evenso, as long as I focus on being on the correct road - even when it seems like I'm driving on the opposite side of where I "should" be, I will be able to arrive to my destination safely.

I think that sometimes it's just hard to roll with the punches when our life has turned out so differently than we ever thought it could. The other day, I also had a "how did my life get me HERE" moment. My life is pretty crazy right now - my job is not fulfilling, though Pampered Chef i LOVE and school as well. Those three things piled into my life on top of every other responsibility I may have has driven me kind of insane at times. But I guess the plan is unfolding... The open road lies ahead. There are twists and turns, slower speed limits and even detours at times... But the next stop is in sight. Plans are hoped for and being worked toward... And hopefully soon, the journey will not be as bumpy as I continue heading toward a two-lane traffic pattern ;)

The heart and its concept of time

Alanis Morissette once sang, "and I have no concept of time other than it is flying," and I daresay most of us can readily agree with that statement. I had a moment though, the other week. A moment when my heart seemed to go back and stand still in time for just a moment before my intellect screamed me back to the here and now.

Have you ever loved someone and simply due to circumstances it was no longer acceptable or appropriate to love them? Again, Alanis sings, "and I never dreamed I would have to lay down my torch for you like this." We move on and get through the initial pain of loss in our heart, and as Felicity (from the show of the same name) once pointed out, it's more like we just learn to live with the broken heart. I guess you could say it heals, but the scars are still there.

The moment I had the other week was simply a moment when my heart just filled with love toward this person that is really not much in my life anymore. The memory of tender times past - a time when propriety had no role in whether or not I loved this person. And I realized how much I miss having someone to love. Even if it was someone that couldn't love me back, or rather, acknowledge that love.

Regardless, it really is good to be in love. And there are moments when I really miss it. Hopefully there will come another time when propriety will be on my side.

Are you there blogosphere? It's me - Angela

Hello strangers! It has been a crazy 2011 so far. My semester is over (straight A's mind you!), which means I survived Meteorology - it was touch and go there for awhile. My Pampered Chef business is doing well, too, which I am loving. It's fun and I am earning money doing it! What a concept, I say!

I'm trying to feel out how things are going to pan out over the next while, though. Things are getting to the point where my school schedule and work schedule are not getting along very well. Definitely "does not play well with others." So time will tell... I'm at present waiting it out to see where I'm led. I've got one summer class and two in fall - at that rate it'll be foreeeeeever until I obtain my Middle School Ed. degree. So as I said, time will tell.

Other things I've been working on - I am planning to walk a 5K on June 11 with the people from my Weight Watchers group. I'm excited to officially complete an official one. I've also signed up to do the Cleveland Heart Walk 5K in August with my co-workers, so I'm working to raise money for that. If you're interested in helping, let me know via message and I'll send you the link - or I may post it to my blog actually at some point in the near future.

Basically, that's the reader's digest condensed version of what the last 5 months has been for me. What have you been up to? Hit me up in the comments section and validate me!

Is winter over yet?

I said BRR!! It's cold out here! Well, in here, too! Anyway, I had to change my blog up a bit as it's been forever, per usual, right? The picture is from my vaca in May to the church historic sites in MO and IL. It was only awesome.

So my holidays were good! My mom and I spent some time up in Michigan with my brothers that live up there. So that was good times. New Year's Eve was chill - my mom and I had some ladies from our ward over and we ended up chatting and snacking all night. A perfect night in really!

Other than that... Things are starting to get pretty hectic. School starts next week - I've got 3 classes. One on Tuesday evening, one on Wednesday evening, and one online. So it ought to be interesting. Plus, I'm working full-time still and of course I am now an Independent Consultant for the Pampered Chef, so I'm doing that on the side. So if you're interested in hosting a show or making a purchase, I'm your girl!
Anyway... All that and my church responsibilities as well! So, I'm about to be a crazy busy girl. But it's all good. Being busy forces me to get better organized and become more productive. Hopefully I haven't taken too much on, but I think all things will fall into place where they need to be.

One thing I've been thinking about is how there will be coming a time, probably in the not so distant future, that I'm going to have to make a decision about my 8-5 job. I've been toiling over it for months - knowing that the time will be coming. It's hard because it's a decent paying job and it's not horrible at all. I get bored and ADD sometimes, yes, and I know that for me - I'm not planning to really move up in my company. It's just not where my career goals lie. I'm planning to have a conversation with my boss and see if there is any possibility in the future for schedule flexibility... However, in the case that there isn't, I will need to consider getting a different job. Either a part-time type job so that I can go to school full-time or something second shift may accomplish my purposes. So if anyone has any ideas about a job that might fit into either of these categories and pays acceptably well... Let me know. I, of course, would loooooove it if my Pampered Chef business was strong enough to carry me through the rest of my schooling, but I'm still just getting started and building it up. It's been great so far. I love the products, I love cooking and socializing anyway, and now I get to make money for doing it. How awesome is that? If any of YOU have any questions about it, feel free to ask away :)

At any rate... I felt that I was highly overdue to update my bloggeroo, and so I did. I am not making any promises that I'll ever be regularly writing in it... I doubt most of you even read it often. And now, without further ado, I will cease my rambling... Adieu!

2010 Wishlist

Well, here it is. The 2010 wishlist. I am having a hard time thinking of things, though... These are in no particular order. The first thing shown, doesn't have to be that same brand or anything, just a pic of one to give a general idea. Anyway... What kinds of things are on YOUR wishlist? Comment me and let the games begin!

Crisis Averted!

Well after much anxiety I have a definite course of action before me that is quite achievable! After meeting with an advisor at Lake Erie College, I have a plan. For several weeks I’ve been overcome with anxiety as I thought about returning to school and what it was going to do to my life – especially when the class schedule offered at LEC was not conducive to my work schedule – not in any way, shape or form. But la! The advisor at LEC has informed me that there are quite a few classes that I can take through Lakeland Community College that will transfer and count for my major in Middle School Education at LEC. So, I’m not back in the process of discussing things with LCC. I’ve got a good few semesters worth of classes that I can take at LCC, which not only means that classes will be available when I can take them, but they will be far less expensive! Can we say win/win?! Next step is meeting with the Ed. Advisor at LCC and registering for classes at the end of the month! So excited and relieved!



In other news, I’ve been constantly thinking about and considering selling Pampered Chef… Anyone have any experience with this type of venture that you may want to expound upon? Comment it up and let me in on the good, the bad and the ugly!

Life and stuff

So things are moving right along with my plans for school... I've filled out my FAFSA and am waiting for the school to process my FA info - hopefully I will be able to find a way to fund my educational pursuits without having to incur a ton of debt. Debt is not my idea of fun. Especially in this economy and especially when aside from my vehicle and student loans from 1995 (there's not that much, it's just been deferred for the more part of the last 15 years until more recently) I'm in debt to no one. As far as I know anyway ;)

I'm getting pretty excited at the prospect of starting classes. I've got my transcript evaluation all done and it looks like there are 3 core reqs that I'm gonna need. Boo to having to take my first Math class since Fall 1995. And a science with a lab. Who cares about science?! And a critical thinking class, I believe there are two choices. I keep reading class descriptions and get a little nervous about attending a small liberal arts college... Cause I am a thoroughly conservative libertarian, and there's a lot of liberal mumbo jumbo that can drive me a wee bit batty. So we shall see how this all progresses :)

Anyway... In other news... I started attending Weight Watchers classes about 3 months ago. I really enjoy it. The information isn't new, really, but I have really liked having that return and report accountability. It's helped me to track everything I consume and think twice about what and when I eat, etc. I'm rather enjoying it and really like the other class members. I've lost almost 15 lbs just by doing it - rarely, if ever, exercising. It's not just a clever marketing campaign when they say, "because it works!" Ha. I even explained the points to my mom and she doesn't necessarily write and track everything, but watches what she eats and she's lost 16 lbs in the last 3 months. So it's all pretty exciting stuff. So, the past two weeks or so the LBS have been slow moving, though still downward, which is good! And in the past two weeks I've commented to my WW leader that I "just need to consistently exercise and get over this sporadic mess." So she personally challenged me to work out 5 times this week. I think I'll make it 4 - 1 hour sessions. I've got plans (Blue Man Group) Thursday and I don't work out on Sundays. And I won't have time to workout prior to the meeting Monday night (but can after!). So I'll be interested to see how this week's higher commitment to exercising non-sporadically will affect Monday night's results! Normally, I might say "thick-thinking" (it's a FRIENDS reference), but in THIS case, I might just have to say "thin-thinking!" I may or may not keep you posted. ;)

OK, so I think this might be the longest and most informative blog that I've written in many a moon... So with that, I will bid you adieu.

one your mark, get set and go now!

Got a dream and we just know now! We're gonna make that dream come true!

Guess what? I got in! Yay for Lake Erie College!!!!! I am planning to start school in January, part-time, as I will be continuing to work full-time (for now).
I am waiting to hear back from the transfer students admissions advisor (who is on vaca) about getting an appointment so that I can make my academic plan.
Oh, and figure out how I'm gonna pay for this *eek*! But, I'm super excited. The plan will be to get my degree in middle school education, with my concentrations in language arts and social studies. YAHOO!!!!!!!!

forrreeeeeever

OK. About a week or so ago, I'd (finally) heard back from a contact in admissions at LEC. In said email, I was informed that a decision should be made and I'd hear something... by the end of LAST week. I've been checking the mail like crizazy every day. I hate the suspense of not knowing.

why is it once we've decided that we can wait forever for something that it actually starts to feel like it will BE forever until that thing is brought to pass. returning to school, marriage, kids. LIFE. Life waits for no one. And yet I'm in the longest proverbial line ever. Just saying.

Hadn't posted for awhile. I thought I'd give you something.

Update on the approaching change

Hello everyone! Thought I'd update my blog - as per usual my posts are at best sporadic. So previously I'd mentioned returning to school to pursue HR Management... Many of you may know, however, that my first choice was actually Education. I had been looking for online programs for an undergrad in Ed. and it was all to no avail. There were so few of them and it just didn't seem to be working out.
Cut to my meeting with the academic counselor at Lakeland Community College. In our discussions, she told me about the affiliations they have with other schools in order to assess my options for the HRM degree. When I realized that there were options out there that I had not yet been able to consider... I asked if per chance any of these affiliations happened to have an Education degree. There was one with Cleveland State University, though, I would eventually need to go to classes in downtown Cleveland to finish up there [at CSU]. However, the counselor also mentioned another option which is actually nearer! She said that Lake Erie College actually has an Education program. LEC is actually even closer than LCC to where I live. Bonus, right?
That night I began looking into it - dropped the classes for which I had registered at LCC and within the next two days, I had ordered all of my previous transcripts, requested two of my acquaintances to send letters of recommendation and completed the online application (essay and all).
Since then I've just been waiting to hear. I had emailed one of the admissions advisors and wanted to make sure that they had all of my information, and agonizingly it took over a week to hear back. I heard back today and received confirmation that they did indeed receive all of the necessary information and I should hear back on the decision by the end of next week! Yay! So I've got fingers crossed. I'm really hoping this all works out! I'm so anxious to get everything squared away and plan things out with the timeline, determine how long it will take me to actually get my degree (I will need to continue working full-time and attend school part-time at first), etc.
In Ohio there's a middle school education degree which certifies teaching 4th-9th grade. I'm all over that. With this degree, you pick two of four areas of concentration: math, science, language arts and social studies. The latter two subjects will be my subjects of preference. TOTALLY excited. Again, I just hope and pray that everything falls into place for this plan. I've been wanting to do this for quite some time, and it finally feels like this might be the answer! So thick thinking (aka lucky thoughts)!!!

Change approaching!

Well I've got my meeting this week with an academic counselor at the College I'm planning to start classes! Hopefully they've received all of my transcripts and I'll be able to get some encouraging news at the meeting. I've already registered for a couple of classes and have been waiting for this meeting to discuss things and make sure that things are on track.

I'm still wondering at times what I REALLY want to be when I grow up. Honestly, more than any worldly career, I'd love to be a wife and mother, but seeing as though I haven't found the right opening for which to apply for that position, I must continue elsewhere! In discussing the idea of careers with a friend of mine, she suggested that I take a career test at my college. I may inquire on that and see what it turns out saying. So stay tuned, and I'll keep you updated :)

Also, if you're interested in Jane Austen, check out: www.janeaustenanonymous.blogspot.com
:)

Stress Fest

For the love of everything good in this life. The last few weeks have been stress fest for me. I've gotten to that point where corporate America is sucking my will to live. And I feel stuck. Even with the change approaching this fall of returning to school and with the hopes of improving and bettering myself and my situation (which isn't BAD, per se, just AAAAHG). Something has got to give, though. Living a life where on Sunday afternoon all of a sudden a ball of anxiety begins to churn in your stomach because of the approaching week and all that it will bring... Well, that's just not a good thing. Granted, I will be given an opportunity soon to work some from home and the days of 70+ mile one way commutes have come to an end... But I'm wondering if it will ultimately make me feel any better. So I've just been spending much of my life feeling frustrated lately.
It seems to me that there are very few lucky ones out there - very few people that love what they do. I've often heard people say that the real trick to life is to do what you love and find a way to get paid doing it. So if anyone has any suggestions on how I can make bank being me, holla at a sista.

In the meantime I'll live like there's no tomorrow...

Recently, I had read a few blogs and discussed with a few other “singles” the idea of having held back on life decisions because “what if…” What if I meet someone next year, how can I be in school, move, change jobs, etc. One such blog post, by Why I’m Still Single, discussed this and how, essentially, it equates to basing your life decisions on a person that doesn’t even exist [in your life yet]. I’ve come to realize and accept that while I may have begun this behavior subconsciously, I perpetuated it mini-consciously. You know, not really admitting it to myself even while the thought floats by ever so briefly…

I have decided that the time has come to live my life the way it was meant to be lived. I have been toying with the idea of returning to school for quite some time. I’ve been back in Ohio now for 4 years. I never planned on being here that long, and at the time chose not to attend school with the thought that “I might not be living here next year,” or whatever the excuse may be. Now, I’m saying, "screw that mess!"

I’ve pondered upon it, and this past weekend made the first step. Granted, it’s community college, but education is education and it will work with my work schedule. Although it isn’t working toward what I had previously thought about pursuing, I am pleased at this time with the decision to pursue a degree in Human Resources. I’m in the process now of getting everything squared away in order to begin classes this fall. It’s an exciting change, a new path toward progress. I’m hoping that it will work out with the timing of other life situations so that in a couple of years I will complete an AS in HRM and be able to expand my occupational horizons, perhaps with a move elsewhere and idealy continuing my education further – the options can and will be unlimited. There is no imaginary potential person holding me down or back.

What it all really boils down to is fear. We often doubt ourselves to such an extent that we render ourselves incapable of the potential lying before us. There comes a time when you just have to take a leap into the unknown and allow yourself to realize your capabilities. The trick is to learn to navigate the twists and turns with an open mind and open heart and accept that even when things don’t work out exactly the way we had expected or wanted, it doesn’t mean we’re at a dead end - sometimes the twists and turns are what really fulfill the dreams we didn't even know we had.

A collage... A stolen idea from my friend's amazing blog!

So fun - an autobiographical collage!






QUESTIONS:
1. What is your name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What is your hometown?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. What is your favorite movie?
6. What is your favorite drink?
7. What is your dream vacation?
8. What is your favorite dessert?
9. What is one word to describe yourself?
10. How are you feeling right now?
11. What do you love most in the world?
12. What do you want to be when you grow up?

Directions
- Go to Google image search and do be careful.
- Type in your answer to each question.
- Choose a picture from the first three pages
- Use this website (http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php) to make your collage.

Four years? Seriously?!

So I meant to post this last week... But here it is!

It was four years ago this week that I had gotten all of my belongings packed up and I left Salt Lake City. I miss my life there muchly, but I can see many reasons why I have been where I now am. I’ve had so many opportunities since moving home! I never ever dreamed that Ashtabula, Ohio would hold much for me. I was wrong, however.
When I left SLC, it was with a heavy heart, which led to a broken heart. I had hopes of moving to the east coast to another area high in LDS Singles population, however, that was not my lot at that time. Instead:
- I found a great job
- I’ve been able to serve in my stake and as an ordinance worker at the temple
- I was able to get out of debt
- I was able to purchase a car with a good down payment when I needed to
- I was able to get lasik
- I was able to go on my dream vacation to England and France
- I’m able to spend time with my oldest friends and be here for many of their important life events
- The above also goes for family and family events
- My mind has opened politically, intellectually and spiritually and all three can be combined!

This, and so much more, has been the result of what I never dreamed would be a good thing. I’ve had experiences and opportunities I never expected. There’s still so many more dreams to earn, but I feel like this was an appropriate stop along the way to so much more than I ever considered would be possible. So even though Ashtabula can be quite the social challenge for a single LDS woman, it’s proven to be more than I ever imagined it could be.

A lady's imagination...

"A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment." - Mr Darcy in Pride and Prejudice

And this is why Jane Austen transcends time. She understood human nature SO well and characterized so vividly so many of these human idiosyncrasies. P&P was written 200 years ago, and yet I've seen myself fall into this trap that Darcy describes.

It's so easy for women to go from hello to I do in the blink of their mind's eye. I think that it boils down to the fact that we are so in love with the idea of being in love that we hope for it at every corner. The trick is to learn how to rein in this psychotic phenomena. Knowing is half the battle, right ladies?

I think that in my past this rapid succession of a non-relationship has contributed to my perpetual non-relationships. My mind's eye has flashed forward to a happily ever after and I hold on to this fictional story - waiting, wishing, hoping and tormenting myself into yet another broken heart. And yet I must accept most of the responsibility for this broken heart because I had created such a strong attachment to someone that never reciprocated it. I was waiting for the reciprocation, but it never came. And so like Elinor in Sense and Sensibility, I suffer all of the disappointment of a broken attachment without ever having enjoyed the rewards.

I won't lie, though... As much as it sucks to not have much of a "dating pool" where I am now and in the demographic to which I belong, it's usually much more serene than what I'd had before. It's also given me time to solidify my determination to not settle for someone who is a stranger to reciprocity.

And those are my few thoughts for the night... ps, yes, Jane Austen IS indeed my homegirl :)