Emma

One of the first quotes in Jane's little book of instruction is from the novel, Emma. Emma Woodhouse, the heroine, says, "If a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him. If she can hesitate as to say "Yes," she ought to say "No," directly."

Can I just say, I can NOT agree MORE. Oh my land. We live in a world that people can seem so desperate to not be alone, that they settle for less than they want and/or deserve, people begin relationships with the hope that the other will change, they feel lukewarm about the person they're with, or they aren't as compatible as they'd have hoped, etc. I think that part of the problem is that we have stopped being honest with ourselves. We lie to ourselves in the attempt to feel better. Society fuels our insecurities and ill decisions by convincing us that we are worthless simply because we're "alone."

Now, I know I'm technically getting into spinstiness. That's right, I'm 32 and unmarried, so I'm a spinster, right? But I am SO grateful that I've been able to have the opportunity thus far to not be with the WRONG person. It has afforded me the opportunity to really come to know what I want in a potential mate and how I want to be in my future marital bliss (I know marriage is hard work, I'm saying it like that for effect).

I guess I ask you this: How much stronger is a woman who knows her worth and stands by her principles? A woman that listens to her gut feeling (dare I say the Spirit)? A woman who is strong enough to stand on her own, but sensitive enough to want to be a wife and mother someday?

We should all strive to be honest with ourselves and the people we relationship (yes, I am using that as a verb). Our culture seems to tell people to continue holding on trying to force things to work out even when deep down we know we aren't happy. Idealy, we discover this BEFORE exchanging marital vows. Instead of dating someone you know you "just aren't that into" for 6 months, be strong enough to cut it off after a fair trial of say two months. If you aren't in it to win it after 2 months, not much is gonna change in another 4 months... or 4 years... etc. Granted, I'm not intending to assign a specific time frame, and each person's situation will be unique to them. All I'm saying is, be honest with yourself. How can one expect to be led to the "right one" when they're too busy wasting time with the "wrong one?"