Rhoda's wisdom

Ok, so I love old TV shows. I love some newer ones, too, so don't freak out. Growing up, maybe jr high-ish, when there was a snow day or the rare sick day, I would be able to watch reruns of Rhoda on Comedy Central. I LOVE Rhoda. Just sayin. However, it was a spinoff from the Mary Tyler Moore Show, which I ALSO love. I've been recently watching episodes of the Mary Tyler Moore show. I have Blockbuster Online, and so I got the first two dvds of season one recently and have been watching them. It is a TOTALLY different story now that I'm actually in Mary's situation - being single and in my 30's. I guess you can say I appreciate it that much more!

At any rate... There was an episode I was watching the other day and Rhoda had the best line EVER. She says to Mary, "When you're single and 30, there's no such thing as male friends - there's fiances and rejects." Oh my LOL, right? And it is seriously, so true, isn't it?

It would seem that this is a lesson that we humans choose NOT to learn. When Harry Met Sally spells it out simply, "men and women can never really BE just friends." Now, in the movie they say that the sex gets in the way. Well, that's not really completely true. It's more about the emotions getting in the way. I know that I've hung on to guy friends for ages with the hope that something more would come. They had no intention of ever taking the friendship to the next level. But ultimately, the friendship has to end. Maybe not completely end, but it changes into something different and can never ever be the same again.

When you're at a stage of life that you want to seal the deal with someone, you just can't wait around for years like you may have done in your 20's. On the flipside, you also shouldn't be the one leading the other person on either.

Don't get me wrong, I DO have guy friends that are really just friends. To my knowledge, we feel the same way about each other - just friends. However, none of these are friends that I ever was emotionally intimate with. Do you know what I mean? The guy friend that is your best friend - you spend all of your time with him, know everything about each other (and still like each other), finish each others' sentences, etc. How can you NOT fall in love with someone with whom you share all of that? There's a fine line. You can't have your cake and eat it, too. If you truly care about that person, you realize that you're enabling them. They've got a torch that is nearly burned out, but every text, email, phone call, inside joke, etc. keeps the flame alive. If you just aren't into the person that way, and you know THEY are, it's time to start the process. Start dialing it down a knotch and devolving, if you will, that intimate friendship.

This is especially true for people that are already in relationships with someone else. You can NOT expect to have a best friend of the opposite sex in addition to your partner. As cheesey as it sounds, your partner should be that best friend. If your partner isn't, well, then. You have a problem.

So, we see the wisdom in Rhoda's well-timed snarky comment. Essentially, it's just a waste of time for a single woman in her 30's to have [close] guy friends. Because yes, they're either rejects or a fiance! And who wants to be surrounded by rejects? hahaha. But seriously, someone ends up with a broken heart, and I don't know about the rest of you, but I am SO done being the brokenhearted. My heart is mended and ready to realize its destiny! No more dawdling or grazing at the watering hole with the other rejects (that's right, apparently I'm a reject, too)! I've got my amazing girl friends all over the world that help me daily, I don't need another opportunity to fall in love with the wrong one. I'm on deck for Mr. RIght.