Rhoda's wisdom

Ok, so I love old TV shows. I love some newer ones, too, so don't freak out. Growing up, maybe jr high-ish, when there was a snow day or the rare sick day, I would be able to watch reruns of Rhoda on Comedy Central. I LOVE Rhoda. Just sayin. However, it was a spinoff from the Mary Tyler Moore Show, which I ALSO love. I've been recently watching episodes of the Mary Tyler Moore show. I have Blockbuster Online, and so I got the first two dvds of season one recently and have been watching them. It is a TOTALLY different story now that I'm actually in Mary's situation - being single and in my 30's. I guess you can say I appreciate it that much more!

At any rate... There was an episode I was watching the other day and Rhoda had the best line EVER. She says to Mary, "When you're single and 30, there's no such thing as male friends - there's fiances and rejects." Oh my LOL, right? And it is seriously, so true, isn't it?

It would seem that this is a lesson that we humans choose NOT to learn. When Harry Met Sally spells it out simply, "men and women can never really BE just friends." Now, in the movie they say that the sex gets in the way. Well, that's not really completely true. It's more about the emotions getting in the way. I know that I've hung on to guy friends for ages with the hope that something more would come. They had no intention of ever taking the friendship to the next level. But ultimately, the friendship has to end. Maybe not completely end, but it changes into something different and can never ever be the same again.

When you're at a stage of life that you want to seal the deal with someone, you just can't wait around for years like you may have done in your 20's. On the flipside, you also shouldn't be the one leading the other person on either.

Don't get me wrong, I DO have guy friends that are really just friends. To my knowledge, we feel the same way about each other - just friends. However, none of these are friends that I ever was emotionally intimate with. Do you know what I mean? The guy friend that is your best friend - you spend all of your time with him, know everything about each other (and still like each other), finish each others' sentences, etc. How can you NOT fall in love with someone with whom you share all of that? There's a fine line. You can't have your cake and eat it, too. If you truly care about that person, you realize that you're enabling them. They've got a torch that is nearly burned out, but every text, email, phone call, inside joke, etc. keeps the flame alive. If you just aren't into the person that way, and you know THEY are, it's time to start the process. Start dialing it down a knotch and devolving, if you will, that intimate friendship.

This is especially true for people that are already in relationships with someone else. You can NOT expect to have a best friend of the opposite sex in addition to your partner. As cheesey as it sounds, your partner should be that best friend. If your partner isn't, well, then. You have a problem.

So, we see the wisdom in Rhoda's well-timed snarky comment. Essentially, it's just a waste of time for a single woman in her 30's to have [close] guy friends. Because yes, they're either rejects or a fiance! And who wants to be surrounded by rejects? hahaha. But seriously, someone ends up with a broken heart, and I don't know about the rest of you, but I am SO done being the brokenhearted. My heart is mended and ready to realize its destiny! No more dawdling or grazing at the watering hole with the other rejects (that's right, apparently I'm a reject, too)! I've got my amazing girl friends all over the world that help me daily, I don't need another opportunity to fall in love with the wrong one. I'm on deck for Mr. RIght.

Emma

One of the first quotes in Jane's little book of instruction is from the novel, Emma. Emma Woodhouse, the heroine, says, "If a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him. If she can hesitate as to say "Yes," she ought to say "No," directly."

Can I just say, I can NOT agree MORE. Oh my land. We live in a world that people can seem so desperate to not be alone, that they settle for less than they want and/or deserve, people begin relationships with the hope that the other will change, they feel lukewarm about the person they're with, or they aren't as compatible as they'd have hoped, etc. I think that part of the problem is that we have stopped being honest with ourselves. We lie to ourselves in the attempt to feel better. Society fuels our insecurities and ill decisions by convincing us that we are worthless simply because we're "alone."

Now, I know I'm technically getting into spinstiness. That's right, I'm 32 and unmarried, so I'm a spinster, right? But I am SO grateful that I've been able to have the opportunity thus far to not be with the WRONG person. It has afforded me the opportunity to really come to know what I want in a potential mate and how I want to be in my future marital bliss (I know marriage is hard work, I'm saying it like that for effect).

I guess I ask you this: How much stronger is a woman who knows her worth and stands by her principles? A woman that listens to her gut feeling (dare I say the Spirit)? A woman who is strong enough to stand on her own, but sensitive enough to want to be a wife and mother someday?

We should all strive to be honest with ourselves and the people we relationship (yes, I am using that as a verb). Our culture seems to tell people to continue holding on trying to force things to work out even when deep down we know we aren't happy. Idealy, we discover this BEFORE exchanging marital vows. Instead of dating someone you know you "just aren't that into" for 6 months, be strong enough to cut it off after a fair trial of say two months. If you aren't in it to win it after 2 months, not much is gonna change in another 4 months... or 4 years... etc. Granted, I'm not intending to assign a specific time frame, and each person's situation will be unique to them. All I'm saying is, be honest with yourself. How can one expect to be led to the "right one" when they're too busy wasting time with the "wrong one?"

Instruction from Jane

Tonight after work I went in search of some gridded matting for the Young Women at church to make bath mats from old bath towels tomorrow night. I'd looked at Jo-Ann Fabric in Ashtbaula last night to no avail and they pointed me to Mentor. I walked around and around the store and nothing. I went to Michael's and nothing. I of course even asked and was left with nothing. The closest thing they could come up with was latch hook rug canvas, and from what I have seen, I don't think that that is actually what we need. So we're gonna need to do something else tomorrow night.

The point of explaining THAT story is to then explain that after the frustration/annoyance of not being able to find what I needed (even when the instructions indicated that most fabric stores should carry this product), I decided to drown my sorrows down the drain of Barnes & Noble. That's right, I headed to B&N, and lo and behold, I discovered an entire table dedicated to Jane Austen! Anyone that knows me knows that I am Jane obsessed. So much so, in fact, I am planning a trip to England for September to coincide with the Jane Austen Festival in Bath. SO EXCITED!! Anyway, upon this table, I found a new little treasure:

Essentially, what it is, is a compilation of quotes from Jane's novels that provide some of life's important lessons. So, what I was thinking is that I would blog and comment on some of the quotes as I feel inspired to do so. So, get your mittens on your kittens, cause we're on our way!

Out of the Mouths of Babes

I had the most hysterical encounter with a girl at church today. Adriana is a little spitfire. Redheaded, quick witted and 9. She was sitting in front of me at church today and randomly asks me, "are you ever going to get married?" I was not expecting the question and just kinda paused a moment and somewhat giggled to myself while I said, "sure... someday." And she looks at me and in her spitfire way says, "you're going to grow old and die alone." I seriously just started laughing.
While some may feel this would be a depressing experience I honestly think it's just hysterical. As of lately, I have been feeling that I'm in a good place with my single status. My feelings haven't been complicated by an unrequited crush for some time now (as there are no options in my area). I don't know if that's why it has helped me feel in a good place or not. I haven't tortured myself over anyone for quite some time now. hahha. That's what we women do, isn't it? Until we find "the one?" We torture ourselves over man after man? I for one have felt plenty of torture and am [hopefully] done.
I also have come to the conclusion that I must believe and trust in God's timetable for me. Right? I mean, He does know what's best. And as long as I remain steadfast and true to Him, He is bound to the promises which have been made me. And I figure, just like Sarah, the mother of Isaac, she almost laughed at the prophecy that she'd bear a child when she was past the age of child bearing. God was able to allow her to bear a child when it seemed impossible. I figure He can lead a worthy priesthood holding man to northeast Ohio for me. :) As impossible as it may seem - it can be done. So, that's what I'm holding out for. A miracle of my very own.

Bathroom Booster?

OK, I work in an office like a lot of people do. I work in an office that has a communal bathroom, that is, 4 stalls in one bathroom, right? Now, it's not always pleasant to have to use a bathroom with the rest of the people you work with and others of those that are on the same floor. I have seen and heard a LOT of different things in my day. There is one lady that I can recognize by the way it sounds when she pees. Not even kidding. I've endured people singing their way through their potty experience, grunting their way through it and today I heard someone giving themselves a pep talk. Now, in all fairness, she was done in the stall, and was getting her coat and getting ready to move along back to work. However. You KNOW when someone else is in the bathroom. And if you have to talk to yourself out LOUD to encourage yourself to focus and get your work done, then... there MIGHT be a problem.
I mean, I thought that it was the female Stuart Smalley in there with me. It was so awkward, I sat on my personal throne in shock. I literally heard her having a conversation with herself, "you need to just focus. you don't want to start the week off out of focus. last week was a bad week, you weren't focused. i'm gonna go back in there and be completely focused." I'm not gonna lie. I thought it was by far one of the weirdest bathroom adventures I've had yet... Just had to share!

FGWP pt 2

Home of the brave, land of the free gift with purchase!

OK, it took several hours... going through all my makeup and beauty products and makeup bags that were a result of a FGWP experience. My friend Melissa commented that a crack addict could line up their pipes and they might look pretty, but it's still an addiction. LOL. So without further ado... Here's a taste of my addiction...

For some reason it isn't letting me add any more pics at the moment. Hmmm... These aren't even the cutest ones! Apparently there's a limit to the pics that can be posted on a post. I guess I'll have to make a few entries for this FGWP.... Apparently this will take some time.

So it took me several hours to clean up and out and around the vanity. I see now why this piece of furniture is named after that trait. Ha. Anyway... I threw some things away, I organized other things... And now I can't even post a picture of the result. Dag nab it. And I haven't figured out how to delete a pic in editing once it's been placed in the blog. But anyway. I digress. In counting all the free bags I went through today, and including the one that I use as a scripture case and a case for my GPS (and the 2 that I gave to my mom recently), I've got almost 30 makeup bags that have come with FGWP. The first one on the pics, the big purple one is actually Elizabeth Arden. It's ginorm. An overnight bag for sure. The majority of course are clinique bags. My friend Carolyn recently contributed to the addiction with an Estee Lauder bag filled with amazing goodies. I filled my 5 drawer little organizer without a problem. Two drawers for eye makeup and related products, a drawer for facial products (such as my bare escentuals foundation powder I use and blushes and bronzers), one drawer for frangrance related products (lots of samples of parfums), and then one where I have my travel sized things I take for, well, ya know, travelling.

I overhauled the larger drawers. There are the eternal lipsticks (i will have to post the pic later, of course).

A free lipstick always comes with Clinique GWP, and I don't use lipstick, really. I'm more of a gloss girl, cause my lip gloss be poppin'. Just sayin'. OK, hear this to the tune of part of that world from the little mermaid:

I've got lipsticks and lotions aplenty... I've got shadows and perfumes galore.... hahha. but seriously! man alive! It was nice to get through things and try to organize them a bit. And decide to start using some of the stuff more. If you live nearby and you have a beauty product need, by all means, ask me first! I might have something you could use and my bonus will become YOUR bonus. :) Alright. I'm really upset that I couldn't post more pictures of this day's event. And so for now, I will bid you adieu so that I might finish some other things that I need to do today!

G. Love and Special Sauce

Well... I must say. Last night was yet another G. Love and Special Sauce concert for me. LOVE him. And when I say "yet another" I mean, it was my SEVENTH time seeing him. That's right. SEVEN! I've seen him in Utah 4 times (twice at Suede in Park City, once with Jack Johnson and Donovan Frankenreiter and once at an ampitheatre set up downtown Salt Lake at the city library park/square area), once in Cali (Orange County Fair), and now twice in Cleveland at the House of Blues. I mean, what's not to like? His genre is his own - Hip Hop Blues. He's philly born and bred, and baby, he's just got a swagger about him. *rar*

So I've got to say, I've learned my way about the concerts. The first concert, at Club Suede in Park City, I wasn't really prepared for. Just the whole bar scene, close proximity and herbality floating through the air isn't my normal environment that I prefer to be in. But he just puts on such a GREAT show. So anyway... I've become accustomed to the obstinate people, the crowded nature of the standing room only club concert venue. There's just nothing like it, really. You're able to get SO CLOSE.

So this time, similar to last time... I was able to get there early enough to be all up in the front. I tend to choose the right center (if you're looking at the stage). And it just does NOT disappoint. So last night during the encore... Well, OK. Let me first explain. It's a club. There's a standing room only floor. There's a fence type barrier that has some benches on the stage side of it. That creates the walkway where the publicity peeps get their pics and the bouncers keep an eye on things. Right? But knowing G. like I know G. During the encore, he SO came down from the stage and was standing literally like an inch from my face! BAA!!!! Right? I mean, he's standing on the bench on the other side of the barrier right smack in FRONT of ME! BAA!!!! So of course I got to touch him! I mean, HI. That's WHY he was THERE! And as the crowd surged behind me to get closer to him, I was pushed closer to him. I mean, it was way existential. It was almost as though a G. Love and Gigi samich was about to be. It was awesome.

Though, I must admit. It doesn't compare to the LAST time I saw him. I was in about the same place, and he came down right in front of me then as well. And THIS time I'd had my phone, and so i was holding it up to take his picture, but he TOOK my PHONE! *die* And he pretended he was all talkin on it, and then he was PLAYING his GUITAR with my PHONE. It was even more way existential than last night. Just sayin'! And he all touched my arm and stuff, too. AWESOME. All in all, it really was good times. *sigh*

Beauty Secret?

OK, so here's the thing. The last several years, even though I've been told horrible things about it, I've been using hydrocortizone cream as my daily moisturizer. It's cheap, effective and dr approved, right? Well, in my case it was dr recommended. I had some dry patches that no amount of commercial makeup moisturizer would cure. The dr told me to use the hydro cream. So, i went to walmart, but the generic with aloe and whatever else in it. And have been using it almost every day since then.

So... here's the other thing. I'm ADDICTED to the free gift with purchase. Specifically Clinique, but I'm no respecter of FGWP. Just sayin'. So this past weekend, I was at Macy's and bought some Clinique and inside of it, there was a ginorm sample jar of this new patent pending age reversing moisturizer. What's not to like, right?! So I've been using it the past few days. However (comma, pause, break), now I've begun breaking out and the skin irritation has set in. Look here at exhibit A.

Ugh! I can't stand it! And with my recent Sephora purchase (done online so that I could get 3 samples with my order), I got a sample of Rare Minerals moisturizer. I was all excited about it, because as i was opening the little packet, it had little messages on it saying things like, "Your skin is going to thank you for this" or "Your skin's new BFF." I mean, what wasn't to like?! Well, it did the SAME thing. So am I just not programmed for "normal" moisturizers anymore? Or is it a transitional period for a new product? I mean, what the deal is, folks?!

So that's the drama. Needless to say, I didn't use it today. Sad, isn't it?! Tomorrow I'm planning to organize my vanity that is currently out of control, see exhibit B. Sad isn't it? I bought a little drawer to organize daily makeup routine things so i can declutter a bit. Drivin' me insane!

Maybe while i'm organizing, I'll take pics of some of my makeup bags that have been FGWP. I have quite an extensive collection - just like Wayne has an extensive collection of hair nets and name tags.